Business News Is REAL News

Joe Moneybags wanders into his office and puts his feet comfortably on the desk.  He riffles through the newspaper and then clicks up his computer and scans one of his favorite online sites.  His eyes widen.  The words do not change. November 1, 2012.  Bloomberg Businessweek.  

“It’s Global Warming, Stupid.”

Joe laughs. It’s got to be some sort of joke. He reads, waiting for the punchline.

Then Joe Moneybags blinks in disbelief. When climate scientists talk of climate change, they’re easy to ignore. After all what do they know about anything important? The business of America is business, and those scientists are just troublemakers without business savvy. Respectable businessmen know that this whole climate change hocus-pocus is actually about destroying business, and not just business but BIG business–the whole American way of life. That means the truly authoritative articles on this outrageous Al Gore hoax will NEVER appear in solid, conservative business magazines, ones that know how to uncover and mock sordid hoaxes.

He reads to the end, color draining from his face.

OMG!  Businessweek?! It’s true then. This settles it! Global Warming is REAL!

Joe yells for his secretary, barking for lists of sun and heat-related stocks.  Sunscreen!  Solar!  Sandals!!

Yeah, I know.  I’m exaggerating.  Convincing most skeptics ain’t gonna be this easy.  But it’s another brick down, sinking like a–brick.


P.S.  Anyone else not at all surprised by the Mayor’s endorsement of Obama?


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